Dear Anonymous MFP friend: I Apologize

Dearn Anonymous MFP friend,

We haven't met yet. I'm in your future. You will see me motivating someone else or you may see me post in the forums and think to yourself "Hey, that's a swell guy! I'd like for him to be my friend!" Allow me to apologize in advance, my new anonymous friend! 

I'm sorry I didn't let you down. I could have been much easier on you than I was, but I didn't do it. So often we think that we have control of our lives, but we lack the power to really wrestle that control on our own. Sometimes we need help. I'm sorry that I commented on your log because I cared about your health when you consistently ate 800 calories for a whole week, or for that 4 day period where you were over 1500 calories due to stresses in your life. I'm sorry that I wasn't the silent majority. Please accept my apologies for not even looking at your log and caring about what you wrote while just saying "Good job," "Way to go," or "Good looking buddy!"

I wish I could fail you. I wish I could let you fail yourself, but I can't. You see, I need you as much as you need me. We have to encourage each other and be there through each other's good times and tough times. I had a friend once, not you Anonymous new MFP friend, that used to always beat me over the back about not eating vegtables. I didn't cower away by hiding my diary, I didn't make excuses, and I didn't tell that good friend "Oh you just don't understand my situation!" I worked on it, I asked questions, I dialogued about it, and I fixed it! I'm still working on it even today, but thanks to that friend it is on my mind at all the time! 

Lastly, I'm sorry for asking you to help me. I'm sorry that I somehow made you assume motivation was a one way street instead of a 2 lane highway.  My sincerest apologies for trying to lean on your shoulder, fully expecting it to be there when my times were tough. It was irresponsible of me to assume that you would bust my chops the day I ate 3 bags of pork rinds and topped it off with 4 liters of coca-cola on a day that I wasn't spiking. Silly me for thinking that you would not allow me to fail myself, as I tried to not allow you to fail yourself! 

It will be a crazy ride new anonymous MFP friend. You will either ride or get rode on! You will either barbecue or mildew! Either way I wish you the best in your journey, regardless of the path you take. Please accept these apologies from the bottom of my heart, and know that I just wasn't able to be the friend you wanted me to be, but the friend you needed me to be. Take care new anonymous MFP friend, and know that if you ever want to take your hand off of the delete key under my name in the inevitable future, I'll be waiting under the squat rack with open arms and a pair of fresh running shoes!

The Gym Bag

Remember the first time you went to the gym. You were quite prepared. You had towels, extra shoes, 2 different watches, a couple of heart rate monitors, two sets of clothes, two bars of soap, your hairspray, your makeup kit, extra deodorant, and you even remember to bring your extra special loofa just for good measure. That's a lot of stuff to carry around, day in and day out, while you navigate the gym. 

 

As you, no doubt, continued to progress, you started to realize that it was okay to leave certain things behind. Your bag then began to shrink according to your situation. You became less afraid of what you don't have and more self aware of the badassery that lied dormant within yourself. All of this STUFF to prepare yourself for when your workout was over. It was an amazing shift in how you saw things.

 

You see, when you first started going to the gym with the extra special bag, the workout had to fit into your schedule. There were other things more important to you and the workout was just a part of the daily grind of life. It was nothing special. It came, it went, and you carried on. However, slowly there was change. 

 

You started noticing positive things going on with your body. You started becoming self assure and self confident. You begin to know your limits, and even better, how to overcome them. No one could tell you diffferent. Perhaps they laughed at first, now they sought you out for advice. Perhaps you had once been a student of the gym, but now had become a sage. More importantly, your workouts became a lifestyle. It became a part of you as integral as breathing. That was the day you showed up at the gym without the bag.

 

I'm reminded of Erykah Badu's song "Bag Lady." One of the lines she says "You can't hurry up, you got too much stuff." How much does that apply to your journey. Are you still lugging huge bags out to the gym, or have you become BAWSS enough to trust in yourself, your plan, and your direction to let the things weighing you down melt away? Take stock. Take inventory. You might just find that you left that bag at home a long time ago, and all that remains is the strap that used to pin it to your life. 

 

"To hell with circumstances. I create opportunities.” – Bruce Lee