My First NSV!

Where I work, our offices are split up into two campuses about 3-5 miles apart. I had a meeting at the other campus, so I left my office a little early to make sure that I beat any traffic, runaway homeless people, and captain "sticky beards" that may be wallowing around the mean streets of my city wallowing in their own wooden buckets of self loathing, but I digress! I parked in the "Pigeon Pit," so named because of the large number of pigeons that indescriminantly perch dozens of feet above our heads and bomb our vehicles with what can only be described as white bird do-do. After locking my car up right next to a public port-a-potty because there was no other place to park, I made my way to the parking elevator.

The button was pressed and the elevator hesitantly greeted me and two other unfortunate individuals and opened it's doors to begin the the 3 story ride to the top of the parking deck. Of course, the two other people I was in the elevator with were professionals, so there was no small talk. There was no "Oh, did you catch the game last night?" or "Nice weather we're having, huh?" conversations to be found. We rode up in silence, butt cheeks clinched, praying that one of us would not speak to the rest of us.

The elevator finally made it to the top and I crossed the bridge after flashing my complementary badge to the complementary security officer with the complementary gun loaded with complementary bullets. I walked across the bridge quickly because that is what professional people do, right? We cross the bridges quickly to look industrious and important!

I finally reached our work space, swiped my ID badge, and heard the subtle woosh of the glass doors as it welcomed me into the cool air of our shared workspace. Three of my colleagues, with surprised looks on their faces, told me that my face had gotten slimmer since they last saw me a month ago. While I'm not one to take compliments well, I was very grateful that my hard work had manifested itself in such a way. With this renewed boost of confidence, I went to my meeting completely refreshed and ready to tackle the remainder of my day with a blitz of awesome! Stay thirsty my friends!